Ghoulish, Ghastly Gluten

 This "film poster" has gone viral. I apologise that I can't  attribute it.

Anyone who is diagnosed as gluten-intolerant is relieved to finally understand their condition. Those who are gluten intolerant probably wish they weren't (despite better gluten-free processed products now available). Strangely,  many who are not gluten intolerant, want to be and wish they were.

Many years ago, I suffered terrible migraines from drinking white wine. A small glass from a chilled cask of Chateau Marbay would put me to bed in the dark for 48 hours, my right eye throbbing so badly I wished I could gouge it out with my Swiss Army penknife. After looking at my problem from all angles with my clever doctor, she suggested I drink better quality, go for an over-seas trip and dump the boyfriend. It worked and I can now knock back a Puligny-Montrachet with the best of  'em.

What I'm saying, is that if you have a problem, check it out and and try to solve it. But I'd go with science rather than with Gwyneth Paltrow and the wellness warriors.

Peanuts are good but not for those with a peanut allergy.
Prawns are good, but not for those with a seafood allergy.
People ask, "Why is gluten so bad?" It's not, unless you are allergic to it.

Gluten only hurts people who are allergic to it. It is not a poison. It's a protein found in certain grains (wheat, barley etc) which enables elasticity in dough.  It's essential in making good pasta and for bread with its delicious crust and aroma (the Maillard effect).  Unless you are a coeliac or a non-coeliac gluten intolerant, why have gluten-free bread when you could have the real thing?

Dusting foods before cooking doesn't require elasticity. Rather than dust fish for example, with flour, I like tapioca flour or real corn flour (made from corn).

The television programme, Loving Gluten-Free, offered  pizza without guilt.  Guilt? There are more serious things to feel guilty about than pizza. 
At a recent cooking demonstration, the dessert was praised as being gluten-free, so you know it's healthy.  No! Not particularly!
Silvia Colloca, a little cutie with a TV cooking show  and credentials sealed by her Italian heritage, tells us  she has searched for ages and now finally has a recipe for gluten-free bread. It's not good bread.  It's a substitute bread.  Fine, but I can hear the ciabattas and schiacciatas weeping in the background.

If you get a bit poorly from eating too much pasta, but a little is OK, perhaps check this out. You are perhaps barking dangerously up the more fashionable tree. You can't have a little bit of a coeliac allergy, just as you can't have a bit of leukaemia or be a little bit diabetic. (Coeliacs sufferers - 1% of population, irritable bowl syndrome 12% - just saying.)

Menus now carry warnings in parentheses (V) (VG) (GF) (LF). Supermarket shelves have warnings. A lovely, all-natural organic peanut butter (Darryl's Fresh Roasted - Drumcondra, Victoria) is made from only peanuts and salt.  The very correct brown paper label announces it's  gluten free. Last time I looked,  peanuts didn't contain gluten. I long to see (B. S. Free).

We pathologise food and moralise it - good, bad, healthy, unhealthy. Warnings on processed foods are worn like a red badge of courage. Will we soon see stickers on apples declaring them gluten free? For a light hearted look, see the video Menus

Is basic understanding of biology and  physiognomy lacking? There is so much good food out there that "glutards" can be "integrated" and enjoy themselves.  But IMHBIO*, there are some who wish not to be integrated, who wish to be given special consideration and sympathy, even though they are not gluten intolerant.

Why would you? I don't get it.

*IMHBIO - In my humble biased and intolerant opinion.

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