Cath Kerry-Food
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Musings on Jetstar, Bollinger and Words

20/12/2017

3 Comments

 
Madame Bollinger is purported to have said, “I drink Champagne when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it -- unless I'm thirsty.” 
 
We are on the new direct flight to Hobart with Jetstar. We are squashed but quite comfortable at the front of the plane, having a warm chardonnay sparkling in a plastic.  Living high, we snack on a cashew-sesame “Munch”.
 
I think of Mme Bollinger. The packet tells us we can enjoy “Munch” alone, with company, after a work-out, after yoga or gym, when we’re hungry or as a snack, on a morning break or even in the afternoon. I guess a plane is OK also. It's versatile. Furthermore, we’ll know we are looking after ourselves. Wow! It must be good.
 
“Eat something decent.  Tear here," says the packet.
“Munch” comes in a no-nonsense plastic pack and consists of neat squares of what looks like a standard nut “health” bar.  It’s OK but, as Rowen Atkinson said in Love Actually, it is oh so, so, so much more.
I learn…
It is all natural, vegan & nutritious with a 4 star health rating. It contains 0% dairy, honey, cholesterol, trans fats, gluten or artificial additives. In a word (or several) it’s all wholesome nutrients for body and mind.
It is a guilt-free recharge (good for those who feel a lot of guilt, I guess).
It is artisan-crafted and kitchen-crafted using centuries-old methods (love those centuries) - whole-food nutrition & inherent goodness with custom-made rice malts and flavours that nature intended.
Antioxidant-rich berries along with other goodies like fats (Not ordinary fats! No! Essential fats i.e. fats that are essential!) lift both you and your spirit. Artificial additives & preservatives are banned.
 
It is made in China from imported and local ingredients (Imported? Where?) - this from the country that sells live-plucked feathers and down for doonas/duvets.
 
You are challenged to "Eat something decent. We’ve done the thinking for you and you’ll know you’re looking after yourself.”
 
And, all of this information can be found on one tiny flat packet 10cm x 16cm. Wow -the power of words!
3 Comments
Barbara
22/12/2017 05:36:50 pm

Did you have to use a magnifying glass to read the label?

At least it didn’t say ‘Made with love’. Stephanie refuses to eat anything that claims to be ‘Made with love’.

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Cath link
23/12/2017 07:43:14 am

"Made with Love." Stephanie is so right. This will be my sarcastic catch-cry for 2018.

Yes, to the magnifying glass. The packet was aggressively functional, just crammed with "information".

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Don
23/12/2017 03:39:48 pm

Gee Cath, I got excited by the title when your latest blog came in. Edvard Munch is one of my favourite artists. We have seen retrospectives of his work in Melbourne, Verona and Madrid.
A bit of a let down but keep up the good work – always interesting.

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