Splitting the Bill?

Lunch at Chez Jupiter, a very French little bistro in Adelaide.

Apparently "Bill Anxiety" is a thing, another one of those 21st C, First World  problems. It's experienced at the end of a shared lunch or dinner when faced with the account. Recent studies show (love that phrase) that about 75% of diners who eat out feel uncomfortable when eating in a group, to such an extent that many even consider not going out at all. Will they be asked to split the bill or pay separately?

Come on, people!  Are we friends, or what?

Most restaurants state they will not prepare separate bills. This annoys some people. Having seen it from the restaurant side, I understand how difficult,  time consuming and petty paying separately can be. Are we concerned that others have ordered more than we have or that we have over-stepped the mark and look greedy?

(As an ex-school teacher I can share the joke that teachers are notorious - from Athens to Sydney, from Paris to Anchorage.  "I had the fish, you had the salad but you spent more drachmas on the wine."  Or "But you had Saint-Géron (the "niche",  very delicate, lightly effervescent French water ) but I had tap."

Don't give the restaurant a hard time.  Don't look tacky. Come up with a strategy and a strategy means talking.

• As an easy start, when someone suggests going out as a group, ask how many people there will be and  whether you'll be evenly sharing the bill. (Frankly a group larger than ten is going to be trouble, whatever, and all paying separately is the least of your worries.)
• Whatever venue, once there, ascertain whether you'll be doing coffee, coffee and cake, one, two or three courses.  Don't beat around the bush. Come to a consensus.  If the majority want two courses but you could eat a horse, put up with it for the group's sake and accept to order two courses.
• It could be helpful to do "shares".  Just impinge on the kitchen to make platters to fit the table.  Six of you can't share a dish of five pulled pork sliders.
• If someone wants to sit with you and just have a glass of wine, they shouldn't be there.  Note not to join with them again.
• If someone wants to order an expensive old Burgundy (yes, Scott) say no, stop them, give them a smack.  This is all about consensus.
• Remember, you're eating together.  This is no time for the rugged individualist.
• It's very much the time to be generous, forgiving, non-judgemental. Its all about the group.  If you don't like the way someone is behaving, put up with it but don't join them again.
• At the end of the evening, the nine of you will get the bill, divide it by nine and throw in your credit cards or cash. Don't question who had what.
• Here the maths gets tricky. If you all owe $61.40 and it's decided to all hand over $65.00 so the extra can be given as a tip to the diligent waiter who attended so patiently to your noisy and demanding needs, watch for the nerd who collects the cash together and then pays the bill exactly as is, with his/her credit card, a personal profit of $32.40 at the waiter's expense.
• Credit cards, that causes another issue.  There will be nine credit card slips to be signed. It all takes time.
• Is it all really worth it?

When might you possibly pay the whole bill?  More of that later.

Are you a sharer or a separate payer?
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